


Unyielding

by indigorose50



Series: No Shame November Fics [8]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Background Relationships, During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feelings Realization, Ferdinand's Dad's A Jerk, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Linhardt von Hevring, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Slow Burn, They're All Trans Your Honor, Trans Edelgard von Hresvelg, Trans Ferdinand von Aegir, Trans Hubert von Vestra, Trans Mercedes von Martritz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27733744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigorose50/pseuds/indigorose50
Summary: [The first time Hubert met Ferdinand von Aegir was at Garreg Mach.And he had no idea who he was.Hubert could not remember Duke Aegir having, or ever mentioning, a son.]
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir & Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Series: No Shame November Fics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997986
Comments: 34
Kudos: 131





	1. Real Name

**Author's Note:**

> Started this on a really dysphoric day and just. Kept going. I've been wanting to work with the idea of trans Ferdinand for a long time, and for this fic I added in some more headcanons I have about certain characters. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy my very good trans kids! I love them very much.
> 
> (to clarify- this is part of "No Shame November" because I intend to fill this story with /my/ headcanons There is nothing shameful about being trans or headcanoning characters as trans)

The first time Hubert met Ferdinand von Aegir was at Garreg Mach. 

And he had no idea who he was. 

Hubert knew Duke Aegir, of course; one of the perpetrators in the Insurrection of the Seven and complete bastard. From Hubert’s hazy, personal recollection of the man, he remembered a daughter at his side during one or two gatherings at the Enbarr Palace. The daughter had been demure and mum when her father was near, but an annoying chatterbox once on her own. Hubert remembered giving her a wide berth and rolling his eyes at her irritating laughter. 

Hubert could not remember Duke Aegir having, or ever mentioning, a son.

Yet Ferdinand von Aegir showed up to school and from day one introduced himself to anyone in a mile radius as the rightful heir of House Aegir. He certainly seemed the part— same shade of red hair that clung desperately to Duke Aegir’s scalp, a declaration of competition with Lady Edelgard, knowledge of the Empire’s political structure; not to mention his penchant for sticking his nose into others’ business, his irritating laughter, and his constant annoying chatter. 

It took Hubert embarrassingly long to connect the dots. In his defense, he had much more than school work and classmates to think about. Still it was bothersome, to Hubert, that it took a full week to see what he was missing.

“Not a very common name anymore,” he said to Ferdinand one day, as casually as he could. “Tell me, what does the name Ferdinand mean?”

Ferdinand fixed him with a look like he was trying to determine where the trap was in Hubert’s question. “It is a combination of old Adrestian words,” he said finally. “Put together it can mean “brave traveler” or “bold for peace”. You must agree it fits a nobleman such as myself!” 

To that Hubert simply rolled his eyes and picked up his pace to beat Ferdinand out of the dorms. Though it hadn’t been his aim, the conversation caused Hubert to recall Duke Aegir’s daughter’s name. He tried to suppress that particular memory.

* * *

The school year wore on. Hubert barely gave the matter much thought. He bickered with Ferdinand, watched him antagonize Edelgard, suffered through chores at his side, and once very nearly flung a Miasma at his back when Ferdinand boasted a passing cavalier test after Hubert failed to class as a mage. 

It was a few days after the Rite of Rebirth that the subject resurfaced. Hubert was leaving the dining hall, ready to spend a rare sunny Verdant Rain afternoon reading outside, when he stepped on a letter. The wax seal betrayed it was from the Empire but nothing else about the sender, and certainly nothing about the intended recipient. As it likely involved a Black Eagle, Hubert opened the envelope and scanned the first few words for a clue.

It didn’t take a few words for Hubert to realize who the letter was for. It only took the name at the top.

He stuffed the letter back inside hurriedly, though he was the only one around. Moving with purpose, he headed directly for the stables.

“Hubert?” Ferdinand rested a pitchfork against the stable wall. Luckily there was no one else here either. The good weather seemed to be keeping everyone out of doors. “I thought I was working with Bernadetta today.” His eyes narrowed. “Are you attempting to sabotage us before she even arrives?”

“Nothing of the sort. I simply meant to return this.” He held out the letter. 

Ferdinand’s eyes widened and he snatched it from Hubert, folding the paper neatly in half before stuffing it into his jacket pocket. “T-thank you, I thought I had lost it this morning.” He shuffled his feet uncharacteristically, eyes downcast. “I assume you—”

“Your father does not address you by your real name?”

The question bent Ferdinand’s spine somewhat. He pat the pocket where the letter sat. “That...  _ is _ my real name, Hubert.”

“No, it isn’t. Ferdinand is your real name.” Hubert took a breath. “Just as Hubert is  _ my _ real name.”

That drew Ferdinand’s attention. He stared at Hubert for a moment. It was rare for Hubert to be at the receiving end of Ferdinand’s gaze without his expression falling into a glare. “You? You as well?”

“Yes.”

“Well… I cannot say I expected that. That does explain why you have yet to tell the whole school.”

“I wouldn’t have said a word regardless,” Hubert asserted with a stern look. “Your personal life is your own. It is not my place to spill secrets.”

Then Ferdinand smiled. It spilled into his eyes and he seemed to glow brighter for it. “Thank you, Hubert. I shall not forget this.”

Hubert almost took a step back, unprepared for such genuine happiness from someone he normally only saw as a bundle of arrogant aggravation. Unable to form a response without tripping over several syllables, Hubert gave a curt nod, and turned to leave.

“Hubert?” He looked back. “Forgive me if this is overstepping but, what does your father call you?” 

While Hubert couldn’t remember the exact wording of his request to his father at age 8, he could remember all too well the anxiety he had felt and the confidence he had attempted to display. “He calls me Hubert.”

Ferdinand’s smile became a grimace and he picked up the pitchfork again. “You are a lucky man then.”

Hubert thought about his father’s many atrocities and said, “In some ways, I suppose.”

* * *

The next day, after dinner, Ferdinand matched Hubert’s stride on the way to the library. “Where did the name Hubert come from?” Ferdinand asked, facing forward.

“I found it in a book when I was young. It stuck with me.” He thought about mentioning Edelgard had found her name in the same book but that wasn’t his tale to tell. “What about Ferdinand?”

“Once I learned what it meant, it just felt right. I had been browsing names of old war generals looking for the…” Ferdinand’s cheeks tinted with embarrassment. “Ah, the most manly sounding name, frankly. It took some searching.”

Hubert laughed not unkindly and held the door as Ferdinand entered the library behind him. “You do seem the type to over think such a thing.”

“I am quite pleased with my choice! No matter what thinking lead me to it!”

“It does match you, I must admit. You certainly are too bold for your own good.”

Ferdinand scowled but set his study things beside Hubert anyway. “I bet you do not even know what Hubert means. I bet it matches your bitter nature.”

They continued to bicker occasionally as they cracked open their books. It felt different from past arguments. Each barb still drew a glare and retort, but in the silences between conversation they stole small, knowing smiles.

It was, though Hubert was reluctant to admit it, more fun than previous bickering.


	2. Outted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna sit on this longer (I have some backlog but not a lot) but I like it, and it's the longest fight scene I've ever written. So I'm letting myself be proud of it lol
> 
> Shout out if you found this through twitter-- I'm still new to actually using that account to promote myself and I'm grateful for the likes!

In the middle of autumn, Hubert noticed Ferdinand become strangely sullen. At first he attributed the change to Ferdinand failing his paladin exam. Lady Edelgard had become a fortress knight effortlessly and as much as he and Hubert saw eye to eye now, Ferdinand’s one-sided rivalry with Edelgard was still a sore spot between them. 

But Ferdinand barely reacted when he passed the next week. 

Then he thought Ferdinand was nervous about the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Many of their classmates were— it would be all the school talked about if not for the absurd fishing tournament Seteth had organized. 

This, Hubert found out, was closer to the mark. 

Partway through the Wyvern moon, Edelgard had Hubert meet in her room. “I received this from Duke Aegir himself,” she said, holding up a letter. “He would like to apologize for how his “daughter” has behaved since the start of the year.”

Hubert’s blood ran cold.

“He mentions he sent a similar letter to our Professor as well, and asks we try and set Ferdinand straight.”

Just as Hubert had told Ferdinand nothing of Edelgard, he had not revealed anything to Edelgard about Ferdinand. If she was shocked by this information, she did not show it. In fact she eyed Hubert with some suspicion. “You do not seem surprised,” she observed. 

“I am not. We had a… talk some months ago.”

“That makes this easier.” Edelgard sat at her desk. “I’ll have to speak to the Professor about keeping this quiet, but something tells me they will not need much convincing.”

Hubert nodded. An ugly coil of rage was boiling away at his insides. He had to quell it— even if Duke Aegir himself were in front of Hubert, he would not be able to react as he wanted. Now was not the time; he had to remember that Ludwig von Aegir’s punishment for many more acts than this was coming swiftly.

“Hubert?”

“Ah, apologies, Lady Edelgard. You were saying?”

Edelgard surveyed him for a moment. “I was explaining that I will write Duke Aegir back and tell him Professor Byleth and I will fix the situation. Of course we will do nothing of the kind. But this way he will bother no one else about it. In fact, I dare say he will never bring this up again if he thinks Ferdinand has—” Here she paused to read from the letter. “—ceased acting like a child.”

Hubert tried to release his anger in a controlled exhale but it still snapped inside him like a sparking fire. “A sound plan, Lady Edelgard. Would you like me to read it over when you are finished?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Edelgard let go of the letter and watched it fall to the desk in clear disgust. “I would also like you to look into this. If Duke Aegir has spies in Garreg Mach it could pose an issue for us.”

“I’ll get to work straight away.”

Once she dismissed him, Hubert stormed out of the dorms with a sole goal in mind. He found Ferdinand in the classroom courtyard turning down a tea request from Lorenz. Without acknowledging the Alliance noble at all, Hubert grabbed Ferdinand’s arm. “Spar with me,” Hubert demanded. 

Ferdinand turned to him with raised eyebrows. While Lorenz sputtered about Ferdinand  _ certainly _ not being fit for a fight if he was not up for tea, Ferdinand stepped out of Hubert’s hold and looked him up and down.

The Black Eagles had not been in a battle yet this month. Unless Hubert missed his guess, Ferdinand was brimming with pulsing frustration just as much as Hubert— and had been for longer. They were angry at the same person.

“Very well,” Ferdinand said curtly. He led the way to the training grounds, both ignoring Lorenz’s gape. 

Hubert had never fought against Ferdinand. Caspar was up for a match with anyone and Dorothea often asked to practice magic; but as often as Hubert had fought by Ferdinand’s side, he had yet to be on the receiving end of his lance.

“No holding back,” Hubert said as they stood in the center ring.

Ferdinand widened his stance and sent Hubert the most rueful smirk Hubert had ever seen on him. “Remember you said that.”

It was not a friendly match. 

At one point Ferdinand’s lance caught Hubert in the back of the head, making him see stars. Ferdinand waited a beat but, when Hubert did not call a halt, he came at him again. Hubert twisted to the side and sent out a wide barrage of fire, usable to aim in his current state. He heard Ferdinand cry out but once again there was no call to stop. So Hubert shook his head and let loose a Banshee, which caused Ferdinand’s movement to slow. 

They went on, actions becoming increasingly more frantic as rage replaced stamina. Hubert was panting through a damaged rib and Ferdinand had blood in his teeth. Even still, Ferdinand’s eyes were burning. And Hubert knew what he needed.

Hubert surged into melee range with a burst of speed. Ferdinand was too taken aback to react quick enough, and Hubert took the opportunity to unleash a Mire right into his shoulder. With a shout of pain that became a spitting growl, Ferdinand kicked out at Hubert’s middle, causing him to fall backward. Ferdinand was on him in a moment, lance handle against his throat.

Far from pinned, knowing the Mire would have taken a toll on Ferdinand’s defense, Hubert punched him hard on the inside of his elbow. Ferdinand’s hand released the lance on reflex and Hubert seized the opportunity to roll them over. The lance slid out of Ferdinand’s other hand and suddenly Hubert was on top of a disarmed Ferdinand. 

It didn’t last longer than a heartbeat. Ferdinand’s glare was a weapon in its own right, and he shoved Hubert away so he could get enough space to pull his arm back and punch Hubert square in the face. Once again the world spun and Ferdinand now straddled Hubert’s legs, one hand holding him down and the other curled back into a fist He was sucking in shallow breaths through grit teeth, his whole body a tense bowstring of muscle and fury. 

Hubert lay there, nose bleeding freely, looking right into Ferdinand. “I’m not yielding,” Hubert stated.

He meant the match, and he meant many more things. He stared at Ferdinand and willed him to rise to the challenge as always.

With a savage yell, Ferdinand’s fist came down on the hard earth next to Hubert’s head. Hubert held in a wince as the hand came away bloody and mangled. Ferdinand didn’t seem to care. The hand pinning Hubert moved as Ferdinand sat up, still atop Hubert, gaze unfocused and unseeing, panting. When he didn’t speak for a long moment, Hubert hesitantly set his own hands on Ferdinand’s waist, trying to coax him out of his head.

It seemed to do the trick. Ferdinand blinked rapidly at the gentle touch and looked down at Hubert. His face was set in determination, an expression he had not worn all month. “I will not yield either.”

Now Hubert grinned. 

Matching the grin, Ferdinand got to his feet. He held out a hand to help Hubert, who had no qualms about accepting. Ferdinand pulled Hubert’s arm over his shoulders and together they shuffled off towards the infirmary. Hubert favored one leg heavily but opened every door as needed so Ferdinand would not have to risk reaching out with the wrong hand. 

On the stairwell, Ferdinand spoke up. “How did you know?”

There was no beating around the bush. “Your father wrote to Lady Edelgard.”

Ferdinand’s steps faltered but he quickly righted himself. “I see…”

“She intends to ignore his request.” That caught Ferdinand’s attention. He stopped entirely and looked up at Hubert. “She will handle him. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I…” Ferdinand cleared his throat and began walking again. “I will have to thank her.”

“How did he find out?”

“I told him. I know, it was a stupid idea,” he added when Hubert cut his eyes to him. “I let distance muddle my memory of him. I thought if he saw how I performed at Gronder field, he might understand that this is who I am. That Ferdinand von Aegir is much greater than—” His jaw shut audibly against the name. “Needless to say I was wrong. I was naive to think I could make him accept me so easily when he never has before. It is a good thing he refused my invitation to the battle, else he might ruin everything I have built here.”

Hubert hummed in answer as they at last reached the second floor. Church officials swarmed the offices and the two did not get the chance to speak as they dragged themselves into the infirmary. 

Manuela was understandably aggravated when they arrived bruised and bloody. She lectured them about their pride and not calling a stop to fights and somehow wormed in a complaint about her love life as she cleaned them up. Ferdinand’s hand required extra bandages, Hubert was to ice his nose later, and both were told to  _ never do that again _ — then Manuela let them go to lunch.

“I can’t believe you let yourself get hit by my Nosferatu,” Hubert taunted as they stepped into the reception hall. “I’m not even proficient in that line of magic. You could have dodged easily.”

“Ah, but I did not want distance. I needed you in range for my tempest lance. That is how I was able to strike your shin.”

“Not a bad strategy, except that you were then hit with the full force of my fire spell. Was getting third degree burns part of your plan?”

“Was it  _ your _ plan to let me almost break your ribs?”

“They are merely bruised. Must you be so dramatic?” 

The banter continued down the hall, into the gardens, and only stopped once they were outside the dining hall. Hubert did not go in. “I must speak to Lady Edelgard. She had a meeting with the Professor.”

Ferdinand looked disappointed for a moment before nodding. “I am sorry about your nose,” he said formally. 

“Good to know. Enjoy your lunch.” 

Before he could turn to leave, Ferdinand grabbed his arm with his uninjured hand. “Thank you, Hubert.”

A great many things burned in Hubert’s throat— that Duke Aegir would eventually suffer, that Ferdinand should stand on his own merits, that there was no need to prove himself to a man like that— but none of it came forth. Instead he stepped out of the loose hold and offered a small smile. “You are welcome. Go annoy someone else now.”

Predictably, comfortably, Ferdinand puffed up in argument. But it faded into a returning smile as Hubert nodded and left.


	3. Scars And Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish I could find for y'all the artwork I had in mind when describing the scars in this chapter but alas. 
> 
> (blows kiss to the sky) for whichever blessed being created such art.

The warning came too late for Hubert to heed it. With a roar, the Demonic Beast let out a volley of attacks that caught Hubert around the middle and sent him to the ground. Another hit threw him back against a tree. The Sealed Forest flashed before Hubert’s eyes as his head connected with solid bark. Someone was shouting but it was hard to hear over the high pitched whine piercing Hubert’s skull.

Oh Volkhard was going to pay _dearly_ for this mess.

“ _Hubert!_ ”

Suddenly Ferdinand was before him, dropping down from his horse to kneel at Hubert’s side. “Hubert, can you hear me? You have to move— Caspar can take the Beast down but not with you in the way. Hubert?”

“I heard you,” Hubert growled, bracing himself against the tree to stand. Ferdinand led him and his horse a few trees back, stopping just in line of sight of the Beast. Hubert saw a blur of blue tackle it head on and held back a chuckle. Caspar would have this well in hand.

Hubert could feel blood running down his side and groaned as he pressed a hand to it. His hand was joined by Ferdinand’s, who looked up at him. “You have two Heals left. You need to use one.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have been counting.”

“This fight isn’t over. Solon is still up there—”

“All the more reason to be at your best.”

Few things were more irritating than Ferdinand being correct. With a grumbled curse, Hubert stepped back to wrestle off his outer robe. His wound screamed when he pulled his shirt over his head, bits of fabric sticking to the blood.

“Oh.”

Torso bare, Hubert turned to Ferdinand. “What?”

Ferdinand was staring at his chest but shook his head and politely turned away at the question. “Nothing. Heal yourself and we can get going.”

Hubert did as he was told. In a flash of white light, Hubert was down to one Heal spell. The wound was far from gone but the bleeding had stopped and protested little when he twisted now. The shirt, however, was beyond saving. He passed Ferdinand to stuff it into the horse’s saddle bag. Leaving his blood around here was not a comfortable thought.

“Your scars look different than mine,” Ferdinand blurted in a rush as Hubert fixed his robe around himself. At Hubert’s questioning head tilt, Ferdinand went on, speaking to the horse. “Mine are slices— but yours are thicker, darker. As if done with magic.”

Hubert put a hand to his chest self consciously. He knew what was there; twin scars of grey wavy lines akin to thick smoke, done when his father had agreed he was old enough. It was hardly the place for such a discussion but Hubert answered anyway. “It _was_ magic. The scars are not as subtle that way but recovery is quicker. At the time that was all I cared about.”

Ferdinand huffed a laugh. “I am jealous! I was useless for weeks after.”

Despite their situation, Hubert spared him a smirk. “I can only imagine the look on your father’s face.”

A vengeful glee curved Ferdinand’s lips. It was a countenance Hubert had seen a few times since their sparring session. Some might have called it an evil smile but no one would ever accuse Ferdinand of having a malicious thought. “It was quite the conversation. _After_ the fact, of course.”

Another monstrous roar interrupted them. Without another word, Ferdinand climbed atop his horse and Hubert ran out from their cover. Another Demonic Beast was tearing through the forest. As one, they cut a path towards it, lance and magic flying through the air.

* * *

Each time a student snuck down from Garreg Mach to join the Black Eagle’s provisional camp, Hubert grew more confident in their chances. Of course he had absolute faith in Lady Edelgard’s plans, which Hubert himself had spent the last month ushering into place, but every student they gained was another soldier the Immaculate One no longer had at her disposal. It was satisfying to think about.

Hubert was just excusing himself from a conversation with one of their captains when he spotted Ferdinand approaching. “If this is about the night watch roster again I will remind you that I currently outrank—” He cut off when he saw Ferdinand’s expression. “What is it?”

For Ferdinand looked caught between emotions. He raked a hand through his bangs, scratching mindlessly at the side of his head, stopping short just before running into Hubert but not meeting his eyes. Hubert took him by the elbow and guided him a little ways away from the already distracted captains. 

“I—” Ferdinand swallowed and tried again. “I have just been speaking with Edelgard. She told me about herself. How she is… like us.”

Hubert gave Ferdinand a moment to collect his thoughts. Since fleeing from the Holy Tomb he knew Ferdinand had been at war with himself; family loyalty pitted against the future Lady Edelgard painted for them. Ferdinand had thrown himself into battle preparation, and Hubert was sure he would follow the Strike Force into battle, but as for his personal feelings for Edelgard…

Ferdinand at last picked up his head, and the giddiness in his smile shone through the gloom of the supply camp. “She told me about the story book, the one the both of you found your names in. She said I had her complete trust.”

Not once in all his ridiculous declarations of surpassing Edelgard had Ferdinand spoken of wanting anything from her— least of all her trust. Yet Ferdinand was practically bouncing on his heels. “Hubert, she is _Emperor_.”

“Yes?”

“Emperor of the Empire. Someone like you and I! The very idea…” The giddiness calmed into something akin to awe, as if Ferdinand was witnessing a daydream come to life. “I am privileged to be part of such a future. I believed in our cause before, but now I— I will see this war through. Whatever must take place, whatever we must do.” 

Here he gripped Hubert’s arm, smiling threatening to overtake his face. “You, Edelgard, and the Professor all have my full support.”

The war behind Ferdinand’s eyes fell away, like a snake shedding skin suddenly too small for its body. Hubert found he couldn’t look away. He had a sense that Ferdinand should swap out his tattered school uniform for something more fitting a man ready for action.

Hubert stepped in closer, allowing Ferdinand’s hand to remain, staring right down at him. Here Ferdinand faltered, taking a reflective step back as Hubert crowded him. 

“Your support?” Hubert repeated. “You do realize we are about to attack a school full of former friends, not to mention face the full might of the Church. We have your support in this?” Such a question might be called looking a gift horse in the mouth but Hubert called it a healthy amount of skepticism. 

Squaring his shoulders, Ferdinand moved forward again, jaw set as he matched Hubert’s hard stare. “I will always challenge you and Edelgard when I believe I am right. I will always strive to make sure the best course of action is decided upon. But in the case of this future you are all crafting? I will do my best to see it come to fruition. In that, you have my full support.”

It had always been too much to hope that one day Ferdinand would not be a constant thorn in their side, but this was preferable to facing him on the battlefield. And not as much of a headache as it had once seemed like it would be. Hubert’s eyes narrowed and he pushed one last time. “Even after what we did to your father?”

“My father would never find this future to his liking.”

The answer was immediate and all Hubert needed. He took Ferdinand’s hand off his arm, but gave it a squeeze before letting go. “Glad to have you then, Ferdinand von Aegir.”

Ferdinand smirked and nodded, waiting for Hubert to step away before saying, “I _am_ correct about the night watch roster.”

“Say anything about the wyvern riders and I—”

“Of _course_ I have something to say about the wyvern riders!”

They fell into arguing as they made their way to the entrance of the chamber where Edelgard and the Professor were conversing in softer tones. Hubert met Edelgard’s gaze as they approached. She smiled knowingly. He nodded back. Professor Byleth and Ferdinand were just two of the many unexpected allies they now had; allies they never could have hoped for when they laid out these plans so long ago. 

Hubert could read the optimism in her face as plainly as she could likely read his. The upcoming battle would end in their favor. There was little room for doubt now.

In a week’s time, Hubert would watch the Professor fall into darkness and curse his naiveté. 


	4. Hiding In Plain Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments! Have some mid-skip interaction!

Two years had passed since the start of the war. Two years since losing the Professor and conquering Garreg Mach. 

And Hubert had barely seen Ferdinand in all that time.

It rarely bothered him— his days were busy as Minister of the Imperial Household and advisor to Her Majesty, and his nights were busy carrying out tasks too unsavory for Edelgard to worry over. 

While Hubert spent most of his time in Enbarr, Ferdinand was on the front lines, proving himself worthy of his position as General. Not once since Garreg Mach had he quibbled about his title or demanded to be Prime Minister. The few letters he sent along with standard reports spoke of a different Ferdinand, one more willing to clash weapons  _ for _ Edelgard rather than with her. Reading those made Hubert feel his absence keenly.

Two years into the war and Ferdinand was at last to return to Enbarr. And it could not have come on a worse day.

“I require a few more soldiers for my private ranks,” Lord Arundel said curtly. He stood in the doorway of Edelgard’s study and was most certainly not welcome to just barge in whenever he pleased. 

Hubert cut his eyes to Lady Edelgard as she stood from her desk, waiting for her cue. “We lent you some last month,” she said.

“Yes, and they were lovely, but I need more.”

“We are fighting a war, Uncle. I cannot just send you trained fighters whenever you wish.”

“I was not  _ asking _ , dear niece.” His polite smile turned condescending. Hubert had to stop himself stepping between him and Edelgard. They had decided long ago they were not afraid of this man. “And they need not be well trained. Just obedient.”

Edelgard’s jaw clenched. 

“A dozen or so should do. For now.” He gave a brief bow, barely low enough to be cordial, and left.

The room was tense as they listened to his footsteps receded down the hall. Hubert moved forward to shut the door when the sound faded. Only then did Edelgard sit heavily in her chair, one hand massaging her forehead as she leaned on the desk. No words of comfort came to Hubert. All he had was rage in his hands and hatred in his scowl.

A knock made them both jump.

Clearing her throat, Edelgard called, “Enter.”

A young man opened the door and his face went pale when he saw Hubert standing so close to the entrance. “Ah, um—”

“Speak,” Hubert snapped.

“Y-Yes! General Aegir has arrived, Your Majesty. He is waiting to greet you personally.”

Hubert turned to Edelgard just in time to catch her lips flicker into a quick smile. “Send him in,” she said. As the messenger left, she looked to Hubert. “Take a walk. Don’t kill Volkhard. Or anyone, if you can help it.”

“If that is your wish,” Hubert said with a nod.

“I will send Ferdinand to you when we are through.”

He blinked. “That is not necessary.”

“Nevertheless.” Edelgard jerked her head towards the door. “A walk. Now. Cool off some.”

As always, Hubert did as she commanded. He wandered the palace with no direction. Every time he thought about how much they were under Lord Arundel’s thumb he would seethe. Servants and guards alike gave Hubert a wide berth. Only the few present members of the Black Eagle Strike Force dared approached, but Hubert spoke to them in such clipped tones that they soon left him alone as well.

Those Who Slither In The Dark irked Hubert to no end. Volkhard knew how much sending soldiers, sending _ test subjects _ his way hurt Edelgard, even if she tried her best to quell her discomfort. She felt every loss, no matter the circumstance, so keenly. Hubert clenched his fists. The nerve of that man.

“Hubert!”

The voice was an instant balm. He turned to see Ferdinand von Aegir jogging to catch up. Hubert hadn’t even realized his feet had taken him outside to the palace gardens. Under the afternoon sun, Ferdinand seemed to glow. He wore a smart coat and carried a thin sword on his belt. A grin was fixed in place as he drew level, lowering the arm he had raised in greeting.

“Your hair is getting long,” was the first thing Hubert said.

Ferdinand took a lock between his fingers; it had grown to touch his shoulders. “Ah, yes. The war has kept me a bit busy. I have yet to find time to cut it.” He deftly tied it back with a black ribbon. “Your hair has changed as well! Who knew you had two eyes?”

Hubert scowled. “I see war has taken a toll on your manners.”

“Only when it comes to you, as always.” Ferdinand’s grin fell. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You and Edelgard are both in a mood today. She admitted as such herself. What news is troubling you both?”

An errant scarlet leaf fell from the oak tree beside them, just skirting Ferdinand’s hair. “It’s none of your concern.”

“It has to do with our shadowed allies. Am I wrong?”

Hubert clenched his fists again.  _ Allies _ . What an insult. “You are not.”

Ferdinand stepped forward, stopping just close enough that Hubert could see the bags under his eyes. As much as the war was going in their favor, it was still war. It was still costing Ferdinand to be out there with the bulk of their army. “Would you like to do something about it?”

With a scoff, Hubert stepped back. “There is nothing to be done. Nothing yet, anyway.”

“That is not like you at all.”

“I’m sure you have others to visit that might appreciate your company more. As you can see, I am not fit for conversation today.”

“All the more reason to stay with you!” Warm bronze eyes traced Hubert, who felt oddly exposed given how close such a piercing gaze was. “I have never seen you look so… defeated.”

The word stung. Hubert scowled but did not back away again, did not prove Ferdinand’s point. “Far from it. I am biding my time. There is nothing to be done about this now so—”

“There is  _ always _ something that can be done.”

“Don’t be dramatic, no there isn’t. You don’t even know the full extent of—”

Moving closer again, Ferdinand seized his arm, grip tight and demanding. “You do not yield, Hubert von Vestra.”

“I am hardly yielding!” Hubert shoved the hand off. Two years had earned Ferdinand a few inches in height but Hubert was still able to stand over him, glare in full force, frustration bubbling away in his gut. Must Ferdinand always stick his nose where he wasn’t needed? “There is nothing—  _ liste _ n!” He snapped when Ferdinand opened his mouth again. “Lady Edelgard is suffering, Ferdinand. At this time there is nothing I can do to help. Not until we win this war and have no more need of these  _ allies _ .” 

In an attempt to cap his emotions, Hubert let out a hissing breath. “Until that day, she suffers. And there is nothing that can be done.”

Hands were on him again. Hubert was forced backwards and fingers dug into his sleeves as Ferdinand’s gaze turned hard. “What happened to the man who planned a war with the continent years in advance? I would have words with him.”

“He’s here,” Hubert snarled.

“Then why is he skulking around the palace like a child who lost his favorite toy?”

“You’re in spell range.”

“You cannot let Lord Arundel see you this way! You cannot let him think he has won, that he has pushed the fight out of you. Believe me when I say I know what it is like to wait to show your true colors.” Ferdinand’s hands tightened. “I know what it is like to look upon someone and know they despise you— yet you must stand alongside them regardless. When you are able, Hubert, I know you will give Lord Arundel what he deserves. Until then, you cannot act this way. Do not act less than you are. It is what he wants.”

These last words were said with quiet gravity, as if Ferdinand feared the autumn wind blowing them to Volkhard’s ears. Hubert wanted something to fling back, something that would shut Ferdinand up, something that would take the sting out of his previous accusations. 

But there was nothing.

Hubert reached up and took hold of Ferdinand’s wrists. “You are right.”

Ferdinand nodded firmly. “I know I am.”

“Don’t make this worse,” he said, drawing a self satisfied smirk from Ferdinand. “You are right. Mysterious organization though they are, mysteries are meant to be solved. I could— I  _ will  _ gather what information I need to strike back the moment I am able; their numbers, their base of operations, how they accumulated such technology…” 

A renewed sense of purpose was filling Hubert. Perhaps he had been behind a desk too long but the idea of getting his hands dirty, of playing the long game once more, sent a thrill up his spine. 

Suddenly, Ferdinand let go. Hubert oddly mourned the loss before arms flung around him instead. “That is more like you. The scheming,” Ferdinand said with a chuckle in his ear. “You were not made to look so powerless.”

Stiffly, Hubert reciprocated. “Neither of us were,” he answered, recalling Ferdinand’s words. That earned him a tighter hold. “Thank you, Ferdinand.”

He thought that would be the end of it. The issue was solved, the thanks given. Hubert had even allowed a hug. But Ferdinand did not let go. In fact he rested his forehead on Hubert’s shoulder and gave a heavy exhale.

“What is the matter?” Hubert asked softly, eyes on the oak tree beside them. They probably made a picturesque scene, when viewed from afar; an embrace before a scarlet tree in full autumn sunshine. Yet Hubert was tense. 

“Nothing,” Ferdinand murmured. “I... simply missed you.”

Taken aback, Hubert said nothing. Ferdinand seemed to interpret that as silent permission and all but sagged against him. He knew Ferdinand threw himself into whatever task was at hand— Hubert could only assume he had been doing the same for the war effort these past two years. Hence the hair. Hubert let his fingers slide up to touch the small tail. A moment to relax was not an improper indulgence. 

Leaves crunched underfoot as Ferdinand at last stepped back. If his eyes were watery Hubert did not comment. “I should find Caspar,” Ferdinand said. “I heard he is back as well. We should compare notes on our respective fronts.”

“He returned this morning. You’ll find him being patched up by Linhardt, I imagine.”

Ferdinand laughed. “I can believe that!” He clapped Hubert on the shoulder. “Back to work, my friend.” 

Hubert nodded, and watched Ferdinand turn and walk back towards the palace. A leaf hit Hubert on that same shoulder before floating to the ground. Shaking his head, Hubert turned in the other direction, mind on his new tasks— ending Edelgard’s suffering, crafting plans to take down Volkhard and his ilk, gathering intel.

He chanced a glance back once, then went on his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (you knew that tree had to make its way into this story at some point)


	5. Satisfied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing another passive headcanon of mine lol 
> 
> Did a bit of planning and this may go longer than I thought! Good news for y'all!
> 
> If you ever wanna chat, I'm very active on tumblr @indigowallbreaker and I'm trying to be more active on twitter so you can also find me @IndieSwords. 
> 
> Enough about me- let's talk about the boys (and the girls!)

Garreg Mach was colder than Enbarr. It had yet to snow but the wind still bit and the Black Eagle Strike Force often woke to frost covering their old dorm windows. On what would have been the night of the millennium festival, the sky was clear, the moon full, the air crisp with tension.

No one expected anything as miraculous as the resurrection of their Professor to happen until near midnight. But Hubert knew Lady Edelgard wanted to get ready and head up early. She more than anyone else was anxious to see the Professor again. Well after dinner he made for her door, intending to help her dress, but heard voices inside. 

“Mercedes? May I ask you a personal question?”

“Hmm… You can ask. But I reserve the right to not answer if it’s  _ too _ personal! Pass me that hair pin, will you?”

Hubert hesitated outside the room. If Mercedes was already helping Edelgard, then there was no reason for Hubert to intrude. It sounded as if there was a need for privacy anyway. Instead he put his back to the door, ready to deter further visitors. He could not help listening. 

“Do you ever see yourself in the mirror and grow… disheartened?”

“Disheartened? Does your reflection make you sad? You’re the Emperor, Edelgard, I’m sure we could get you new clothes if—”

“Perhaps that is not the right word.” There were a few beats of silence. Hubert recognized that tone in Edelgard’s voice, though it had been many years since he had heard it last. “I suppose… Put it this way; are you ever surprised and a little disappointed with how your body appears? You picture yourself one way but once you catch sight of your reflection, you remember you are not as you think you are?” 

Before Mercedes could reply, Edelgard attempted to amend her question. “That was confusing, I apologize. Clearly I rushed into a topic I was—”

“No, no! I understand.” Mercedes was as patient as ever. Even Hubert’s nerves were soothed hearing her speak up. He could imagine with clarity Edelgard’s shoulders dropping in relief that her lengthy question would be taken seriously. “Maybe the word you are looking for is unsatisfied?”

Another beat of silence. 

Mercedes went on. “Your body doesn’t look how you want it to sometimes, right? If you think about it too much? It doesn’t have what you want people to see. Or it has parts you wished no one thought about when they looked at you.”

“Yes…” Edelgard’s voice was quiet. Tremulous. Hubert steadied his own breathing to hear properly. “It’s not all the time but every so often, I am… unsatisfied. Am I right to assume you have experienced this as well?”

“Oh, all the time!” The brightness of the admission caused Edelgard to let out a laugh. “Since the war picked up it happens less and less. But back at the Royal School of Sorcery, sometimes I would be getting dressed and look down at myself and think “why do I even bother?” It would ruin my mood the rest of the day.”

There was the sound of boots across the hardwood floor and Hubert tensed, wondering if he was about to be caught and cut the conversation short. After a moment however, the boots moved away again. Likely Mercedes or Edelgard crossing to the closet and retrieving the correct outfit. When Mercedes spoke again, she was a safe distance away. “Do you know what helped me on those low days?”

“Tell me.”

“Annette. She could tell when I was unhappy and stuck by me all day long. She would offer to do my makeup and style my hair, she yelled at anyone who addressed me incorrectly… she was a big help. I’m grateful for her friendship.” A fond giggle. “She still does it sometimes.”

Edelgard chuckled with her. “So, you think I need an Annette?”

“I think you have a few already! There are many people willing to step in if you’re having a bad day— myself included! You just have to lean on your friends when you’re unsatisfied with yourself.” 

There was a pause where Hubert thought that was the end of it. Then— “I know this doesn’t fix things but… you are a beautiful woman, Edelgard.”

For a moment, Hubert was struck with the urge to open the door. Just to view the smile he knew had to be spreading across Edelgard’s face. A bright spot in the middle of this stagnant war. 

“Thank you, Mercedes.”

“Happy to help! It’s never easy to talk about these kinds of things. I hope something I said was useful.”

“Very much so.”

Once again boots clomped along the floor inside and Hubert pulled himself away from the door to stand further down the hall. Not a moment too soon— Edelgard opened the door, preceding Mercedes out. Edelgard met Hubert’s gaze. Her hair was pulled back into two buns to hold up the horned crown of Adrestia. Dressed in her full Emperor regalia, she was a vision of crimson, gold, and authority. 

It was far from Hubert’s first time seeing her this way. But given what she was about to do, the potential disappointment she faced up in the tower; it compelled Hubert to make something he thought obvious plain to Edelgard as well.

Hubert reached out and took her hand, bowing slightly to kiss the back of it. “You look radiant as ever, Lady Edelgard.”

The smile he had longed to see before lit Edelgard’s face once again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mercedes grin and clasp her hands together. “Thank you,” Edelgard replied simply. Even without having overheard their conversation, Hubert would be able to read the earnest gratitude in her voice. “Shall we?”

“Indeed.” Hubert held out his arm for her to take. “Mercedes, would you like to join us?” 

“Sure!” Unexpectedly, she took Hubert’s other arm. The look she aimed up at Hubert suggested she saw right through him. He made a mental note to never underestimate Mercedes.

* * *

Midnight had yet to strike and everyone was restless. Even Linhardt could still be spotted wide awake in the dining hall. Caspar was training with anyone who locked eyes with him, fighting off his nervous energy. Dorothea had taken to pacing the bridge leading to the cathedral; the occasional haunting melody could be heard cutting the night air. Petra and Bernadetta paced the grounds together, wrapped in what looked like every blanket they owned and chatting away. Others formed groups and spoke in low tones as they chanced glances at the Goddess Tower in the distance. 

Hubert knew one thing that would settle his nerves— and he found Ferdinand sat on the steps of the entrance hall, cupping a steaming mug with both hands. Ferdinand looked around as he approached and shifted over in clear invitation. Wordlessly, Hubert took the offered spot. They sat in comfortable silence for a little while, Ferdinand sipping his tea and Hubert regretting not grabbing a heavier cloak.

Ferdinand wore his usual attire with the minor addition of a knit scarf. Clearly a Bernadetta creation. As Hubert turned to get a proper look at him, Ferdinand swept an errant lock of hair behind one ear. It really was getting long now. Waves of sunset orange effortlessly reached the middle of his back, standing out against the dark exterior of his angled cape. 

“Does your hair ever bother you?” Hubert asked abruptly. 

Ferdinand regarded him with warranted surprise, carding his bangs as if self conscious. “Sometimes, I suppose. The upkeep certainly takes additional effort I had to grow accustomed to. It can be frustrating some mornings to brush the night’s tangles out. But it is easier to tie back for training and chores now! Did you know Linhardt thinks I grew it out on purpose? Imagine thinking I cared about fashion in the middle of a war.”

“I mean…” Hubert trailed off, taking a moment to think through his words. He could better appreciate Edelgard’s earlier struggle now. Ferdinand, graciously, gave him the time, hands once more over his chilling mug. “Does it bother you to see it so long? Does it ever ruin the image you have of yourself?”

“Ah.” Ferdinand’s eyes fell to his tea as comprehension dawned. “It did. When the growth first became noticeable. I thought my troops would treat me differently, that they would suddenly… figure it out.” A small smile appeared. “They did not. In fact, I have been told I look rather regal!”

Hubert snorted. “I would have said pompous.”

“You will notice I have never once asked your opinion,” Ferdinand said, bumping their shoulders. Hubert had half a mind to knock the cup from his grasp but had no wish to have his nose broken again. Instead he elbowed back. Far from irritated, Ferdinand gave a laugh. “I did mean to cut it eventually. Now I am not so sure. I  _ will _ cut it if it gets as long as Edelgard’s.”

“There is nothing wrong with Lady Edelgard’s hair.”

“When it is not tied up I fail to see how she does not trip over it.”

“You’re toeing the line, Aegir.”

Ferdinand laughed again, and Hubert allowed himself to give in to amusement as well, hiding a chuckle behind one gloved hand. Their mirth faded into the stillness of the entrance hall, long abandoned but for themselves this time of night.

Placing the now empty cup on the step above them, Ferdinand asked, voice subdued, “Do you think they will really reappear tonight?”

If anyone else had asked, Hubert would have responded logically— that though the Eagles had searched high and low for their Professor to no avail, Byleth had pulled off daring escapes before. The monsters at the Red Canyon, Solon and Kronya’s trap; not to mention they wielded the still unknown power of the Sword of the Creator. There existed the possibility that their Professor could have escaped death as well. 

But to Ferdinand and Ferdinand alone, Hubert confessed, “I dearly hope so. For all our sakes.”

Ferdinand put a hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. The touch was warm and, though a small gesture, Hubert found it comforting. He nearly leaned into it but caught himself in time. One show of weakness was enough. He remained stiff until Ferdinand let go. 

“I believe there are still hot drinks to be had in the dining hall,” Ferdinand said, standing up. He held out a hand to Hubert. “You look like a man in need of coffee.”

Hubert took the hand and let himself be pulled to his feet. “As long as it is not tea masquerading as coffee. Such a trick only works once.”

“I merely sought to broaden your horizons.”

“Keep your horizons to yourself and far away from my cup.”

Trading barbs all the way, they headed for the dining hall. As if drawn by their voices, many of their friends filed in as the hour wore on. Conversation and a myriad of hot beverages soon flooded the hall. Hubert and Ferdinand did not stray far from one another no matter how packed the hall became. They took it in turns to keep an eye out the window at the tower, on the off chance the Professor’s entrance was dramatic. 

And when the call went out that Edelgard was descending the Goddess Tower, the pair rushed as one out towards the cathedral.


	6. Proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from my Holiday/I-didn't-even-know-a-person-could-HAVE-this-many-shifts-in-retail Break! 
> 
> So happy to get to this chapter; it hit me all at once at work a while back and was incredibly satisfying to write.

“We should be heading south, not east.”

“We are already heading in the right direction.”

“No, we are heading east.”

“This is my family’s land, Hubert. I know it quite well. And I know for a fact we are going the right way.”

“But  _ I _ have the map and I’m saying we are going too far east.” 

Ferdinand’s horse slowed to match Hubert’s so he could glare. “What map are you looking at?”

Hubert held it up for inspection. They were already a day behind schedule and Hubert had mentally crafted a message to send along to Lady Edelgard and the Professor back at Garreg Mach apologizing for their delay. The way this argument was going, he was likely going to have to amend their return date again. 

The map was ripped from Hubert’s hands. “What are you—”

“This is a false map,” Ferdinand explained, crumpling it up and sticking it in his saddle bag. “My father had a few made so no one would know Aegir territory better than the family.”

Hubert, who had gotten that map from the Enbarr Palace library personally, scowled. “How can you tell?”

“On this map there is a town near the coast called Ran, which does not exist.”

“Nevertheless,” Hubert said, attempting to regain some dignity, “we should be heading south. If we keep riding east we’ll just hit the ocean.”

“Along the ocean is the best way to the Aegir estate! It is scenic and peaceful.” Ferdinand flashed a proud grin. “A true noble always knows the best way through his land!”

“Start a sentence that way again and I’ll push you off your horse.”

“Push me off my horse and I will tug you off yours by your bootstraps.”

Despite their bickering, and Hubert’s insistence, they came within sight of the shore before following it south towards the Aegir estate. As the grand home came into view, Hubert noticed a shift in Ferdinand. He grew quieter. His rebuttals came with less fire. Hubert let the conversation, such as it was, drop. 

Their visit to the Aegir estate was not a social one. The former Prime Minister had sent a letter to Ferdinand requesting an audience. All the letter had said was that it was of the “utmost importance” that Ferdinand come speak with him. The letter had been formal— not one begging a child to visit, but as one noble to another. Ferdinand had offered no guesses as to what his father would want to talk about but had asked the Professor’s permission to leave all the same. He argued it might be crucial information, as Ludwig had ruled behind the throne for many years and may finally be ready to tell all. Byleth and Edelgard had granted him leave without requiring further convincing. 

Now, just as they reached the front gates, Hubert saw Ferdinand falter for the first time. Without looking away from the gates, which opened at their hail, Ferdinand said quietly, “You did not have to come.”

There had been quite a bit of arguing after Hubert declared he would accompany Ferdinand. Though Edelgard had given them permission, Ferdinand had pointed out they were both supposed to guide Edelgard, and therefore could not be gone at the same time. Edelgard had told him to shut up. The Professor had almost laughed at that. 

“This man helped orchestrate the Insurrection,” Hubert reminded. “Repugnant as I may find him, he is not to be underestimated.”

Ferdinand nodded, still not meeting Hubert’s eye. “Thank you.”

Hubert did not answer. A short time later, they were through the gate.

A quick trip to the stables, a short cut through the gardens, terrified faces from the staff as a pair of servants guided them further into the estate— and then they arrived outside the study where their meeting was to take place. Two guards with the Aegir coat of arms on their uniforms framed the door. One put a hand to her sword as they approached. 

“Good afternoon, Cord,” Ferdinand greeted smoothly, smiling at this guard.

Cord, a tall woman with cropped hair who looked to be about 10 years their senior, went slack jawed. The guard beside her appeared puzzled at this reaction. Hubert would look much the same if he didn’t have a tight grip on his countenance. “Ferdinand?” Cord breathed.

Ferdinand’s smile softened. “I hope my presence does not come as a surprise? I was told I was expected.”

“Of course, my L- my Lord. I… simply did not recognize you.” She returned his smile earnestly. “You look good.”

“T-Thank you,” Ferdinand stumbled, his smile falling in the wake of his surprise. The other guard knocked twice on the door between him and Cord. “Ah, I shall see you later. We have much to catch up on.”

Cord beamed. “It would be an honor,  _ sir _ .”

The way she spoke the honorific resonated. Hubert found he liked Cord immediately, and pondered under what circumstances he could transfer her to the main Empire army at Garreg Mach. 

Ferdinand stood straighter, moved with more authority as they walked through the door. Even as they came to a halt before the sole individual inside, Ferdinand did not back down. 

Ludwig von Aegir looked worse than the last time Hubert had seen him. More hair was missing. His skin was almost grey. He sat at his grand desk with his hands folded before him, clothes refined but somehow dulled— like dust clung to them, or they were stretched from reuse. 

Nevertheless he glowered as they approached. Only when they came to a stop did a churlish smile curled over his face. “Welcome to my home, Minister. General Aegir” His voice was just as nasally and grating as the last time Hubert had been subjected to it. “Have a seat, there are important matters to discuss.”

Before they had even begun this journey, Ferdinand had made Hubert promise to leave a majority, if not all, of the talking to him. “Unless I give an indication, please remain silent. He needs to know that I am in control of the conversation.”

It had made sense at the time, and Hubert would obey his wishes, but now that Ludwig had spoken Hubert was reminded of how much he wanted to pull the man’s teeth out one at a time. Had wanted to since he had sent those letters to Edelgard and the Professor five years ago. 

Ferdinand did not take the offered seat. “I would like to hear what these important matters are first, Lord Ludwig, before we settle in.”

Ludwig narrowed his eyes but shrugged. “Very well, General. Simply put, I wish to be taken off house arrest.”

There was a pause. 

When Ferdinand responded, it was still polite if tinged with disbelief. “You wish to be set free?”

“Yes. I have served my sentence for five years. I think that is long enough. The Empire is winning this war, according to reports, and I feel I would be a more valuable asset if I were—”

“Apologies for interrupting but— you believe we need your help?”

Ludwig started, as if offended that was even up for debate. “Of course! The Empire would not have lasted if not for my actions. With this war coming to a close, I assume it will be all hands on deck, so to speak. There will need to be wise minds at hand, such as myself, to soothe to transition from war to civility.”

Ferdinand snorted. Actually _ snorted _ . His smirk held only malice. “You believe, after the success we have had since your imprisonment, that you are needed? That  _ yours _ is a mind we must have at hand?”

“Who else? None can boast the experience I possess. Not even the Emperor has wielded authority as long as I have.”

“As long as you  _ did _ . Do not forget your place.” Ferdinand’s voice was low. Ever polite, but dangerous. Obviously the comment had hit him wrong as well. Hubert himself had bristled when Edelgard was brought up. “You have no more power, Lord Ludwig. And you never will again.”

Ludwig’s jaw clenched. “ _ You _ have no power either, General. You only have what the Emperor allows you to have. If you let me free, our house could grow once again—”

“Under what merits? I am seeing this war through to make Emperor Edelgard’s dream a reality, and to prove my own strengths and skills. To earn my place instead of inheriting it from someone as un-noble as yourself.”

“How dare you? This house had no meaning until I took matters into my own hands. There would be no power to take back if not for my—”

“If not for your atrocities?” Ferdinand, quite deliberately, put a hand to his hip right over the sword hanging from his belt.

“I will  _ not _ stand for such disrespect in my own home,” Ludwig seethed. “The Emperor imprisoned me and stripped me of my title. After my loyalty to the people— after everything I did to make this country operate how it  _ should _ !” Ludwig cleared this throat and seemed to wrestle back his temper. He sat back in his chair once again. “Surely this family has suffered  _ enough _ disgrace. These supposed ‘atrocities’ have been paid due.” 

What Hubert wouldn’t give to be back out on the road, on their horses, squabbling over a fake map and listening to the ocean beat against the rocks in time with Ferdinand’s laughter, salty air throwing his hair. 

The air in this room was stifling, thick and rancorous. Ludwig von Aegir had shifted from bother to deleterious pest. If he truly sought to gain any kind of power back, it officially made him Hubert’s problem. 

Hubert looked to Ferdinand for a cue, but Ferdinand had not shifted at all. His hand was still near his sword, his gaze still steel on Ludwig, looking not unlike a parent waiting for their child to calm from a tantrum. 

“If you were looking to me for softer judgement, you will not find it,” Ferdinand said at last. There was no tremble in his voice. Only resolve. “If it were up to me, you would rot here until this land was given to me by Emperor Edelgard herself. Then I would kick you out of my home.”

Ferdinand stepped closer. Hubert almost smirked when he saw Ludwig press back further into his chair, but he kept his face impassive. “If you cannot even fathom that there was any error in your past actions, in  _ any _ of your past actions, then you will never find redemption. We have no need of you, Ludwig. We never have.” 

Ludwig visibly gulped. Then he drew in a breath and squared his shoulders. “Very well then. As you will not see sense, General, this meeting is over.” He pulled a book towards him and waved them away as he bent his head to consider the text. 

“Not quite.”

Ferdinand’s tone surprised both Hubert and Ludwig, who looked up sharply. 

“You will be outfitted with different guards,” Ferdinand stated. Ludwig’s mouth fell open. “Empire soldiers will be sent in a few day’s time to keep a better eye on you. I understand firsthand how loyal House Aegir’s guards can be, and do not wish you to try something so foolish as collaborating with them to escape. Even if you had some place to go.” 

Ferdinand inclined his head, which was more respect that Hubert thought Ludwig deserved, and said, “We will take our leave. There is important work to be done far from here.”

With that, Ferdinand turned on his heel and left the study. Hubert was but a step behind him. He watched as Ferdinand stalked out of the study, passed Cord— whose question faded behind them— and out towards the stables. Hubert took note of how many Aegir guards they passed. Now that Ferdinand had spoken about their loyalty, there were far too many for Hubert to be comfortable with. Even if the guards did not like Ludwig, and Hubert doubted a single soul did, they might like his promise of power. 

They led their horses out through the gates without saying a word to each other. Ferdinand did not mount his, so Hubert walked alongside him as they left the estate and headed down the road. The sounds of the sea gradually returned once they left the town. Why was someone like Ludwig von Aegir allowed to live in such an alleviating environment? 

At the top of a rise, Ferdinand stopped. His eyes had lowered to his boots. The resolve he had left the study with had fallen away like corroded armor. Hubert planted his feet, fingers loose on his horse’s reins. 

“Not once did he call me by name,” Ferdinand said at long last. Hubert watched a few locks fall over his bowed head like a curtain. “Even when asking something of me, he couldn’t bring himself to say it.”

The slight had not gone unnoticed by Hubert. Ferdinand must have been feeling that sting the whole time. Hubert raised a hand, hesitated, then placed it firmly on Ferdinand’s shoulder. He felt his whole body tense up. “For what it’s worth, you did well in there, Ferdinand. You should be proud of yourself. I certainly am.”

Ferdinand looked up at him, astonishment plain on his face. A single tear slipped down his cheek from one wide, bronze eye. Ferdinand tried to take in a steadying breath— but Hubert heard him choke around it and moved without thinking.

He pulled Ferdinand into an embrace. While the one by the oak tree years ago had been reserved— clingy, in Hubert’s opinion, but still more to revel in the other’s presence than anything— this one had Ferdinand digging fingers into Huber’s back and hiding his face in his neck. Hubert let him. There was no reason not to; they were far enough from town that there was little chance of an audience.

There was no sobbing, but Hubert felt the tears on his neck. Ferdinand shook and breathed heavily but seemed to be trying to regain his composure. Holding the back of his head, Hubert gave him as much time as he needed, busying himself with tangling his fingers in Ferdinand’s sunset waves. 

Even when it felt like Ferdinand had a hold on himself once more, Hubert did not let go. Just to make sure. “Apologies,” Ferdinand said hoarsely. He made no move to let go either. “I fear I have been holding back many emotions today. They snuck up on me.”

Hubert simply stroked his hair. If Ferdinand was surprised by his actions he didn’t appear to mind. His fingers relaxed along with the rest of him, leaning on Hubert instead of griping him like a lifeline. A few rogue strains of hair stuck to the wet spot on Hubert’s neck. 

For a moment, a few breaths at most, Hubert closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the contact. Listened to the waves, felt Ferdinand’s chest rise and fall against his, allowed the fresh sea air to clog his nose. 

Then the moment was over. Hubert gently slid his hands away, stepping back to allow Ferdinand space to run a hand down his face. When he looked up at Hubert, his eyes were still a little red. But his smile was unbroken. “Oh, um…” He pulled a handkerchief from his jacket pocket. “Here. Sorry.” He passed it to Hubert, eyes off down the rise where their horses had wandered. 

Hubert took the cloth and waited until Ferdinand had moved away towards their wayward mounts to wipe at his neck. He watched Ferdinand approach his own horse, distinguished by the lance strapped to her side, and pat her neck as he gently took her reins. The smile had not faded. In fact it was wider, as if suddenly free of a pressing weight.

As Ferdinand collected the second horse, Hubert raised a hand to lightly touch the spot on his neck where Ferdinand’s tears had been. Resolve cooled the last vestiges of Hubert anger. Ludwig von Aegir would be dealt with swiftly. To protect Lady Edelgard’s rule, and to protect such a smile. 

Ferdinand turned back towards Hubert, expression tempered into something soft, and Hubert felt a rush of— 

He shook his head. Those were not feelings for now. Perhaps after their journey back to Garreg Mach he could take a closer look at… whatever that was. 

* * *

A month later, after defending Garreg Mach from the Church of Serios, a messenger arrived. The Black Eagle Strike Force had just settled in for breakfast when Edelgard asked to speak with Ferdinand alone. Hubert kept the space beside him free, casting a minor fire spell to keep the teapot warm. The others must have sensed something as well, for the original Eagles and the Professor lingered after finishing their meals. The air was already somber for all their losses yesterday, and without their merriest member among them, shoulders drooped all the more.

At last Ferdinand returned. He offered a smile to everyone and thanked them for waiting. Edelgard joined them shortly afterward, taking the seat opposite Hubert. 

“It seems a number of the corrupted nobility we had locked up attempted to escape a few days ago,” Edelgard said to the prying eyes. “They have been seen to appropriately.”

Hubert held back a snort. Some had been “seen to” more personally than others. 

“Are you okay, Ferdinand?” The Professor asked, arms folded on the table top.

Ferdinand took a sip of tea. “I am fine, thank you. I half expected this, given the way Lord Aegir spoke at our meeting.”

“Good riddance!” Caspar declared. “He was just taking up space anyway!” Edelgard elbowed him without even looking up from her plate. But Ferdinand seemed unaffected by the callous comment. 

“What I fail to understand is how he escaped,” Ferdinand went on. “I made sure to send guards loyal to the Empire to watch over him. Cord and many others joined us here willingly. How could he have gotten away?”

Hubert gave a dismissive hum. “Perhaps he had more enemies than we thought. People who would lure him out with the promise of power and kill him.”

Ferdinand gave a bitter snort. “Such a tactic  _ would _ work on him. Before I forget, Professor, I noticed some damage to the monastery’s western walls as a result of Rhea’s attack. We should refocus our restoration efforts there in case the Church returns.” 

And just like that, the morning was business as usual. Edelgard turned the topic towards the updated list of repairs for the monastery. The others pitched in their observations as well. Ferdinand sipped his tea again, stared at the cup as if seeing it for the first time, then raised it to Hubert with a small smile of thanks. Hubert simply nodded in return, ignoring the resulting rush near his heart.


	7. Experimenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, folks. We're nearing the end and I got nervous that I was leaving out important info so I hung on to this to edit the heck out of it. But now here it is! If there's any mistakes at this point they've earned their place lol
> 
> Starring Caspar "Ally Trying His Best" von Bergliez <3

A soft knock on Hubert’s office door stilled his hand. That particular knock belonged to Lady Edelgard, and so he didn’t call out but rather stood in anticipation that she would let herself in. 

“Good morning,” Edelgard greeted as she stepped inside.

“Good morning, Lady Edelgard,” he returned. “Did you sleep well?”

“Fine, yes. I have a favor to ask you.”

“Anything.”

She held out a small pile of papers. The top one was blank, leaving Hubert to wonder at the stack’s contents. “I received this research and need two copies made. I would ask a scribe to do it but I would hate for this information to get around.”

With a shake of his head, Hubert took the papers. “There is no need to explain yourself to me, Lady Edelgard. I will make the copies and see them back to you personally when I’m through.”

“Actually, one copy needs to go to Linhardt. It would be a big help if you could deliver it to them by this afternoon.”

“Of course, I—” Hubert stopped leafing through the papers. “Them?”

“Yes.” With a hand to her cheek, Edelgard cocked her head at him with raised eyebrows. “Do you not remember?”

Years of friendship meant Hubert knew immediately that Edelgard’s puzzlement was performative. 

“Linhardt said last night at dinner that they wanted to try new pronouns.” She thumped her fist into her palm as if having a major breakthrough. “ Oh, _I_ remember now! You did not come to dinner!”

“Lady Edel—”

“You skipped yet another meal! I must have forgotten, you skip so many.”

“I take your point—”

“Do you?” The act dropped as Edelgard settled her hands on her hips. She looked more like a disciplining parent than an Emperor in that moment but Hubert was no less intimidated. “Because _I_ seem to recall having this conversation a week or so ago where you promised you would make an effort to eat regularly.”

Hubert placed the papers behind him on the desk. His curiosity had been overrun by exasperation. “I hesitate to question your memory but do you also happen to recall our food is being rationed? Skipping a meal now and then can only mean the rest of the army—”

“That is _exactly_ my point.” Interruptions from anyone else would annoy Hubert to no end. As it was, he merely shut his mouth and let Edelgard carry on. “We are at war, Hubert, and a certain amount of food is set aside just for you. It’s only good sense to make sure you eat when you can. You skipped dinner _and_ breakfast! If we were to be attacked right now, you would pass out from standing up too fast!”

“That is not true.”

“Which part?”

“I had coffee this morning.”

A rare glare was leveled at him. “That is _not_ breakfast.”

Hubert pinched the bridge of his nose. “With all due respect, I sometimes need to put my work above other needs.”

“Rarely do I give you tasks that are so time sensitive they can’t be set aside in favor of a good meal. Besides, there is nothing wrong with eating and working at the same time.”

“As if I would risk dirtying my work space.”

The glare found a friend in a pair of crossed arms over Edelgard’s chest. “If _I_ were skipping meals you would lecture me to boredom.”

He would and in fact he had. During school, Hubert had needed to remind Edelgard more than once that not showing up for meals would draw unnecessary attention from the nosier members of the other houses. Attention they couldn’t afford at certain stages. 

Still, Hubert did not appreciate being treated the same. “It is necessary for you to take as many meals with the Black Eagle Strike Force and the rest of the army as possible. Little things like appearing in the dining hall boost morale. Not to mention, as the Emperor, you must keep yourself healthy and primed for your many duties. All to say— yes. I would object if you were to skip meals.”

Something in Edelgard’s expression softened then. Her tapping fingers ceased and a sigh escaped through her nose. “Hubert, my friend, all those things are true for you as well.”

“I’m not—”

“If you are about to spout some self-deprecating rhetoric about how you don’t matter as much to morale, I’m going to have to ask you to stop there.”

Hubert’s mouth shut with a click.

Edelgard’s scowl, which had already been flagging, turned into a proper frown of concern. “You have been missed, you know. Not just by myself either. Mercedes has asked me your favorite foods so she can make sure there’s enough for you when you’re ready to eat. Caspar has some... _strange_ plan about whispering dishes through your shared wall as you sleep so you’ll wake up hungry.”

That made Hubert simultaneously nettled and amused which he expressed in the form of rolling his eyes before closing them briefly to sigh himself. “Neither of those are necessary.”

“There have been other plans. If nothing else, you have given the table something to talk about.” Now a small smile tugged at Edelgard’s mouth. “But I am not alone in saying we would rather have you there.”

Hubert couldn’t imagine his presence being sought after, much less a topic of constant conversation. He wondered, briefly, what plan Ferdinand had offered, if he had at all. Swallowing the question, Hubert said, “I will make meals my priority henceforth. But I cannot promise not to miss any.”

Edelgard stood firm another moment before taking in a deep breath. “Fine. But if you miss three in a row I’m going to let Petra carry out her plan of physically dragging you to the dining hall every meal.”

Such a thing would only serve as a stealth exercise for Hubert. But as Edelgard did seem concerned, and had raised several solid arguments, Hubert gave in. “As you wish.” He turned to pick up the papers. “Do you actually need this research copied or were you using these as a prop?”

She pouted as his terminology. “I need it done, yes. And Linhardt truly does want to try new pronouns.”

“I shall be sure to do so. Thank you for letting me know.”

With a prim nod, Edelgard left the office. 

Hubert set to work duplicating the research, pondering if Edelgard would count it three meals missed if he skipped lunch today. It would be simple to argue, since he had not agreed to her terms until just now, that dinner and breakfast should not be counted. Best not to risk it. Hubert kept the time in mind as he wrote. 

It was one thing for Edelgard to be troubled by his absence but he had not expected the rest of the Eagles to be so concerned. He wasn’t oblivious; he knew the others counted him as a friend. But to threaten such lengths just to see him well fed was surprising. It wasn’t like he offered much when they held meals together— there were few topics Hubert felt worth weighing in on, so he mostly stayed quiet and let the conversation flow where it may. It was often hard to keep up with so many sidebars going at once. 

If given the choice between their company and Petra manhandling him into the dining hall, however, he would pick the obvious path. Though, he thought bitterly, no one ever threatened to wrestle _Bernadetta_ into the dining hall when she took meals in her room instead. Not that Hubert would let them anyway. But it was the principle of the thing. 

The copying was done well before midday and, after neatening his desk and securing his other work away from any wandering eyes, Hubert left his office in pursuit of Linhardt. After a glance around the library and war room, Hubert descended to check Linhardt’s dorm.

It was early spring in Garreg Mach. The end of the month would take them north to Arianrhod, so the sunshine and warm breeze was welcome. Hubert did not mind the short walk to the dorm in this weather— in fact it was nice to stretch his legs in the sun for once. 

Just outside Linhardt’s door was Caspar. “Hey, Hubert!” Caspar called. “Feels like it’s been _forever_ since I last saw you!”

“Yes, I have already received a lecture,” Hubert said, coming to a stop before him. “I assume Linhardt is not in?”

“Yeah. I have no clue where he is. They is. They ARE!” Caspar cursed. “I keep doing that.”

Hubert found himself chuckling. “It’s fine. It can be an adjustment.”

“So you have trouble switching too?”

“No, but I tend to think my words through carefully before speaking.”

That earned him a glare. “Can you _ever_ pass up the chance to insult me?”

“I need to give them this report from Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said to change the subject. “Why don’t we look together and you can practice using the right pronouns?”

Caspar brightened at the idea. “That’d be a big help! Thanks!”

The pair made their way into town next, keeping the subject on Linhardt as long as possible. Caspar did slip up a few times but at least he no longer reacted so violently to making the mistake. “I’ve just known Lin one way for our whole lives, it’s hard to switch,” Caspar confessed once they arrived in town square. “I will, yeah, but it’s gonna take a while.”

“Lady Edelgard said they only just asked this of us last night. I think you are allowed a grace period as long as you make an effort. You cannot be the only one struggling with the change.”

“Yeah but I’m— Left here, they love the bait shop down this way.” Caspar guided Hubert down an alley. “I’m their best friend! I should get this faster!”

Hubert smirked at Caspar, looking at his frustration companion sidelong. “I am confident you will get it eventually.”

“Thanks. It was easy with the Professor and Edelgard. It should be just as easy with Linhardt. That’s all I’m saying.”

The smirk dropped in puzzlement. “Edelgard?”

“Yeah, I—” Caspar stopped and looked at Hubert, face pale. “Oh _please_ tell me you knew. You _gotta_.”

“I do. I am merely surprised you do as well.” Normally Edelgard told Hubert whom she confided in. Hubert would never have pegged Caspar as the sort. 

“Oh.” Caspar let out a breath of relief. “Yeah. I never met her before school but my father always talked about the royal family. When I was little he switched from prince to princess and I just sorta put the pieces together.”

“I see.” Hubert resumed walking, making a mental note of that. He wondered if other Lords privy to such information were as accepting. Perhaps Lord Aegir had been an outlier when it came to such things. “Is this why you are looking for Linhardt? To speak with them about your struggle.”

Caspar matched his pace. “That and, uh, last night I used the wrong pronoun twice. I feel horrible about it. They said it’s fine but I wanna know what I can do to make up for it.”

“Doubtless they will want you to help with securing more napping spaces for them in some way. Is this the shop?”

The bait shack had a sign in the window announcing the proprietors were out to lunch. Caspar let out a groan. “Alright, where next?”

Hubert hummed, taking in the sign. “If it is truly so close to lunch, perhaps we should try the dining hall.”

As if in agreement, Caspar’s stomach growled. He laughed and pat his gut. “Sounds good!”

That turned out to be the right line of thinking. Linhardt was ascending the entrance hall steps with Dorothea when Hubert and Caspar caught up. “Where’ve you _been_ all morning?!” Caspar snapped.

“I’ve been talking to the Professor,” Linhardt replied calmly as they turned to Caspar. “Why? Were we supposed to train or something? I’m not sorry I missed it.”

“Caspar was helping me find you. Lady Edelgard wanted a copy of this made and given to you.” Hubert held out the small stack of research.

Linhard took it, skimmed the contents, and nodded. “Good. Something to do later that avoids possibly training.”

“Hubie!” Dorothea interrupted with a clap of her hands and a blinding smile. “It’s been _so_ long since—”

“Yes, I know.”

Her smile turned sinister. “Then you won’t say no to joining us for lunch?”

Hubert rolled his eyes. “I was going to come anyway.” Dorothea pointedly wound her arm through his and led the way to the dining hall. Caspar followed— dragging Linhardt, who seemed thoroughly distracted by the research papers. 

Lunch was in full swing when they entered. The four of them grabbed their trays, Caspar carrying two and whining at Linhardt to pay attention already, and converged on a table solely occupied by Mercedes and Annette.

Mercedes clapped as he sat beside her. “Hubert!”

“ _Please_ ,” Hubert all but growled, putting up a hand. “I am eating, see? All is well.”

Annette pouted. “We’re allowed to be worried about you.”

“We can try out our plan another time, Annette,” Caspar stage whispered from Hubert’s other side.

“Your plan to speak to me through the wall every night?” Hubert asked as he dug into his stew. “Please don’t.”

Caspar balked. “How do you know _everything_?!” Dorothea and Mercedes laughed and Hubert even caught Linhardt smirking. 

Then Linhardt actually did look up— right at Hubert with sudden alertness. “Oh, speaking of last night, were you told?”

Hubert nodded, wiping the corner of his mouth. “I did. Congratulations on trying to figure yourself out. Let me know if you intend to try out other identities. Can you pass the salt?”

It seemed the right thing to say. Linhardt smiled softly and reached over to hand over the salt. Hubert couldn’t resist smiling in return. 

Conversation meandered for a while. Gossip was exchanged and bread bartered. Caspar had to remind Linhardt more than once to actually eat their food already. The stew was delicious, though Hubert wondered if that had something to do with his skipped meals.

Halfway through, Mercedes spotted something over Hubert’s shoulder and nudged Annette quite obviously. Hubert narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He turned to find Edelgard entering the hall with Ferdinand at her side. Both were talking rather intently until they spotted the table staring at them. Ferdinand took a step away even as Annette called out, “Edelgard! Come here so this can be the most _beautiful_ side of the table!” She gestured to the open seat across from her, cater-corner to Mercedes. 

Mercedes giggled, cheeks turning pink. “Too much?” Annette hissed when she saw this.

Dorothea, catching the scheme immediately, muttered, “You’re doing great.” Then she too called, “Come sit, Edie!” She stood and shooed Linhardt over so she could sit across from Mercedes. “Tell Ferdie to grab food for you both! Let’s make this end of the table _stunning_!”

Clearly amused, Edelgard looked to Ferdinand, who smiled and motioned for her to take the seat. Hubert watched him make for the kitchens— Ferdinand’s smile easily slipped away, replaced with a thoughtful frown. Edelgard took the spot across from Annette and was showered with compliments about her hair and outfit, though Hubert did not continue eating.

Evidently Edelgard was having one of those days Mercedes had once described. Hubert felt a pang of guilt— though Dorothea had been able to help Edelgard during these moments of dissatisfaction in recent months, Hubert was usually quick to catch on as well. Missing the meals he had, and therefore missing time with Edelgard, meant Hubert had been unaware today was such a day. Perhaps that was the true cause of her lecture this morning. 

Hubert caught her eye down the table. She gave a small finger wave and a smaller smile. He nodded in return, hoping it came off apologetic and resolving to speak with her later. 

And what of Ferdinand, Hubert wondered, looking back to the man in question. Could he be having a similar experience? He certainly looked stuck in his own head. 

As Ferdinand made his way over, his gaze found Hubert’s and his cheeks turned pink. Did being stared at make Ferdinand too self-conscious on days like this? Hubert should have thought of that. He dropped his eyes to his soup bowl and spoke quickly, “Caspar, when Ferdinand gets here, talk about the time he beat you last week.”

Caspar sent him a suspicious look. “But you said you hated when I detailed a sparring match?”

“I do. Do it anyway.”

“I mean… it _was_ pretty cool when he—”

“Wait until he’s in _earshot_ , you buffoon.”

“Alright! Geeze!”

Ferdinand set Edelgard’s tray down with her thanks before taking the empty seat beside Caspar. “Hey, bud!” Caspar called energetically, even though they were inches apart. “What was that move you used again? When I got my ass handed to me last Friday?”

Ferdinand looked startled at being addressed, which further convinced Hubet something was wrong. “Um, do you mean swift strikes?”

“Yeah! You were so fast! Like ‘bop _bop’_ !” Caspar punched forward with both fists, splattering a little stew on Linhardt, who looked down at their sleeve dispassionately. “Like that, but with a lance, you know. It was so _cool_!”

Now Ferdinand was smiling. Hubert felt enormous relief as Ferdinand went on to boast about _his_ side of the match. When Hubert looked down the table, it was to see Edelgard aiming a look at him. Hubert usually found it effortless to silently communicate with her but he had to admit confusion in the form of raising an eyebrow. She simply shook her head and dug into her lunch.

* * *

Hubert truly meant to go to dinner. His grand plan, if it could be called such, was to meet with Edelgard in her office down the hall, check in with her on personal matters, and then escort her to the dining hall where he would have a quick bite before heading back to work. 

Somewhere in the middle of that he would sneak a glance at Ferdinand; if Hubert felt it necessary, he could push aside his workload for the morning in favor of making sure Ferdinand was alright. Caspar’s conversation at lunch had lifted his spirits but it was hard to tell if it was a permanent thing.

The fact that Hubert had plans, however tentative, to leave tasks unfinished in favor of staying in Ferdinand’s company was worrying. Yet his chest grew tight at the thought of leaving Ferdinand to be miserable alone. 

A knock made Hubert realize he had been zoning out for the past few minutes. “Who is it?” He called, as that had not been Edelgard’s knock.

“Ferdinand von Aegir!” Came the answer. Hubert rolled his eyes. 

“Enter.” 

“Um, might you get the door? I am currently encumbered.”

Wondering what on _earth_ was waiting on the other side, Hubert stood and crossed to the door. It was nothing more than Ferdinand holding a loaded tray of food. Two plates of sauteed pheasant sat steaming hot on the tray, along with some vegetables, potatoes, and a half dozen square cookies. It all smelled amazing. 

“Thank you,” Ferdinand said as he stepped in. Hubert didn’t have the heart to object when he placed the tray on this desk, perilously close to the inkwell. “After I heard how long it took you to locate Linhardt this afternoon, I thought you might be tempted to skip dinner to catch up on work.”

“And who am I eating with?” Hubert asked with a gesture at the two plates. He had his suspicions but it felt strange to hope—

“Myself! If you will have me.” Ferdinand’s face pinked as he turned to Hubert. “I hope you do not mind? Eating with everyone can be… loud, at times.”

Hubert smirked. “You mean annoying.”

“Our friends are not annoying!”

“Our friends wrote the book on annoying.” Hubert walked around to sit back at his desk. “Let us eat.”

Ferdinand’s flush was gone, replaced by a huff of agitation as if it were criminal for Hubert to criticize their old classmates. Regardless, he pulled over a chair to sit across from Hubert, laying a napkin on his lap before taking a plate. 

“You will, of course, vouch for me when Lady Edelgard comments on my absence from the dining hall?” Hubert asked as he dug in. The meat was juicy and flavorful, a perfect accompaniment to the buttered potatoes. Hubert had not even realized he was hungry. 

“Yes, yes,” Ferdinand waved him off. “She will know every bite of yours in great detail.”

“It’s all I ask,” Hubert chuckled. 

The pair were quiet for a time as they ate. Hubert attempted to sneak glances at Ferdinand, trying to assess if his mood had been improved at all, but it was harder when it was just the two of them. Several times he caught Ferdinand looking at him in turn and had to shift his gaze abruptly elsewhere.

“Tell me something—”

“You should try—”

They both stopped. 

Hubert put down his fork. “I should what?”

Ferdinand pat his mouth with his napkin. What could be making Ferdinand so insecure? Had something happened while Hubert had been out to cause such a shake of self confidence? He made another mental note to speak with Cord. She had been assigned to Ferdinand’s own battalion and the two spoke often; if any soldier would know, it would be her.

Straightening in his seat and fixing on a bright smile, Ferdinand finished at last, “You should try a cookie!”

“I have not yet finished my meal.”

“Yes, but I cannot handle the suspense. I must know if you like them.”

Hubert raised an eyebrow. “You made them, I take it?”

Ferdinand puffed out his chest. “Indeed! I learned how back in school, and with Mercedes’ help was able to perfect the recipe. The others said they were fine but your opinion would be...” The smile slipped a little and Ferdinand gave a cough. “Well, you are more blunt in your assessments. I am eager to hear your appraisal!”

The cookies were light brown, darker on the bottom, and dusted with cinnamon. Hubert held one up for inspection. They were about the size of his pinkie finger.

“Honey and cinnamon shortbread,” Ferdinand answered the implied question. “But I decided to use extra cinnamon on these.”

Hubert wasn’t sure why the small display of thoughtfulness made his pulse thrum in his ear, but he kept his eyes on the cookie all the same. He took a bite. “Well first off, the cookie is too big. You could have produced double the amount if you had made them smaller.”

Ferdinand took the criticism as well as he ever did. “I made them long for dipping in tea. Or coffee, I suppose.”

“Can you not stand to even have your fingertips a little wet? They need not be this long. This is too much cookie for one serving.”

“But now you are not at risk of dropping the cookie in and ruining your drink!”

“I currently do not _have_ a drink!”

Ferdinand pointed with his dinner knife— which would be an aggressive action in any other context but given that he was pointing at the cookie Hubert still held it came off almost childish. “What about the taste, then?”

Hubert took a moment to consider the taste lingering in his mouth before taking another bite. “It is… good.”

The knife didn’t lower. “You do not sound certain.”

“Really, Ferdinand, normally you accept compliments with more grace than that.”

They bickered about the cookie’s size, taste, appearance, and something Ferdinand called “mouth feel” and what Hubert called “texture, stop making up words”. Somehow this devolved into other subjects such as the state of the kitchens, the state of Ferdinand’s room, hair care, uniform maintenance— 

By the time the conversation wound down, Ferdinand had eaten almost all the cookies and Hubert had finished his first. They had begun gathering their plates and utensils when Ferdinand looked up at Hubert. “You were going to ask me something, before this cookie debate.”

Hubert busied himself with folding his napkin. “Yes. I was going to ask…” He took a moment to think over his phasing before settling on a simple, “Are you alright?”

The question seemed to surprise Ferdinand. “Yes? I have been well.”

“I only ask because you seemed lost in thought earlier today. As if something were bothering you.” Hubert lay the napkin on the tray and kept his eyes there. “If you have any problems, either with someone in the army or… or in general, feel free to speak with me.” He paused, then added, “Or with Cord, of course, as she has your confidence.”

A loud silence followed Hubert’s words. “Thank you,” Ferdinand said at last. Hubert looked up to find Ferdinand with a tender smile. His tone was so fond; Hubert didn’t know if he could stand it. “You are a good friend, Hubert. I apologize for worrying you today. I simply came to a realization.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Although I do not think—”

There was a knock at Hubert’s door, and Hubert had a split second to realize this one was Edelgard’s knock before the woman herself entered. Her face went from a scowl to puzzlement when she spotted them. “Oh. So you _did_ have dinner.”

Hubert got to his feet, but it was Ferdinand who spoke first. “He did! I watched him clean his plate.” Ferdinand stood and tilted his chin up confidently. “No lecture required!”

Edelgard chuckled in the face of his competitive tone. “I suppose I can’t complain, given the results.”

“I am not some child who needs to be persuaded to eat,” Hubert grumbled, not sure who he was more annoyed with. 

“Of course you aren’t,” Edelgard agreed. “Smart children do not need to be told to eat in the middle of a war.” She and Ferdinand shared a laugh that Hubert didn’t appreciate as Ferdinand picked up the tray and made for the door. “Since you are now free and fed, Hubert, I had some business to discuss.”

The way she spoke, and the fact that she did not invite Ferdinand, implied this likely had something to do with those who slither in the dark. Hubert felt his good mood dry up until the only evidence left was cinnamon still stuck to his fingertips. “Very well.” 

“Am I needed? I can drop off the tray and return.”

“No need, Ferdinand. In fact it would be helpful for you to tell Caspar that Hubert did not skip dinner after all.”

Ferdinand snickered and looked to Hubert. “I hope we have a chance to do this again sometime?”

“Yes,” Hubert was quick to say. “It was a welcome change.”

Practically glowing, Ferdinand left.

Edelgard turned to Hubert with an expression he couldn’t read. Her lips were pressed tightly together but there was a smile struggling on her face, almost as if she were holding in a comment. This was certainly curious, as Edelgard rarely held back with Hubert. “Lady Edelgard? Is something the matter?”

“Nothing at all.” Edelgard set her hands on the back of Ferdinand’s discarded chair. “How was dinner, alone, with Ferdinand?”

“Fine. What is it you wish to discuss? I assume it has something to do with Volkhard.” Hubert sat down pointedly. It was bad enough Ferdinand had just been in the room— Hubert preferred to keep the Strike Force, with the exception of the Professor, as far removed from matters concerning Slither as possible.

Interpreting his actions perfectly, Edelgard sat down without bringing up dinner again, and began to speak gravely of Arianrhod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ferdinand: -blushes when he sees Hubert-; Hubert: “Oh no he’s having a tough day.” I love these boys)
> 
> If you like this story and are hungry for more trans fics by trans people, I highly recommend a book I just finished: "Cemetery Boys" by Aiden Thomas. It's about a trans teen living in LA who wants to prove to his family that he's truly a boy-- by summoning a ghost, as all the men in his family can. But, whoops, he summoned the wrong ghost. And this ghost gives him butterflies <3 
> 
> Seriously, give it a read. I promise you'll eat it right up!


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